My child, my baby, my son is gone.
Suppose you have read my blog. I shared that I had birthed
three beautiful children. My children all together did a perfect puzzle. But
unfortunately, my ideal puzzle is broken; now, it is incomplete.
On August 7, 2021, I lost my youngest child to COVID. My Son
John Steven Ponce earned his wings.
John was humorous and a loveable person. He was 32, married, and a father of an 8-year-old
boy. My son, John, was a good loving son. His heart was full of love and kindness;
so many people loved him.
I never thought this could happen to me. But then, my worst
nightmare came true. I have lost a child.
COVID is the cruelest disease… while hospitalized for COVID;
John could not have visitors. Still,
thanks to the technology, we could speak via video chat. But chatting through a camera is never the
same then holding your child's hand, kissing his forehead, or being by his side
to comfort him.
That is the cruelty of COVID besides the physical pain the
person undergoes! He was thirty-two of age, a big teddy bear. To my eyes, I saw
him small and defenseless. I needed to
be by his side, but it was impossible. I
know COVID is contagious, but I wouldn’t care. I just wished I could have been
with him in his last moments. I cry
every night, thinking, "did my baby suffer" or "was he
scared?" “Did he die knowing how
much I loved him?”, Did he know had I been given a chance to exchange places
with him, I gladly would have done it. Oh, Lord! My heart is hurting so much.
I carried my baby for nine months; he was half an ounce away
from being ten pounds. Such a beautiful baby he was. Not too long ago, I carried a portion of his
ashes with me from Florida to New York. A part of his ashes are with his widow
in Florida, and an amount is back home with me. I wish I could have had a
locket of his hair, but again, because the cause of death was COVID, I was denied a locket of his hair.
Days after he died, I would go to bed wishing I would wake
up, and it was all a bad dream; now I go to bed hoping he will visit me in my
dreams.
Mommy misses you
Rest In peace, my baby.
